Dr. Rick Marshall, Y U NO SANE?!

Matt Laurer: That was my guest Dr. Rick Marshall, whose book arrives in stores tomorrow.

Dr. Rick Marshall (offscreen): G*****m right it was!

Matt Laurer: You might want to look for it in the "I'm out of my freaking mind" department.
-- Land of the Lost (2009(

Lisa on Self Improvement

Self-improvement can be achieved, but not with a quick fix. It's a long, arduous journey of personal and spiritual discovery.
-- Lisa Simpson, "Bart's Inner Child" (1F05), The Simpsons (1993)

Bart's Chalkboard Gags of Season 1

From The Simpsons, Season One (1990):

I will not waste chalk. -- "Bart the Genius" (7G02), 1/14/1990

I will not skateboard in the halls. -- "Homer's Odessey" (7G03), 1/21/1990

I will not burp in class. -- "There's No Disgrace Like Home" (7G04), 1/28/1990

I will not instigate revolution. -- "Moaning Lisa" (7G06), 2/11/1990

I will not draw naked ladies in class. -- "The Call of the Simpsons" (7G09), 2/18/1990

I did not see Elvis. -- "The Telltale Head" (7G07), 2/25/1990

I will not call my teacher "hot cakes". -- "Homer's Night Out" (7G10), 3/25/1990

Garlic gum is not funny. -- "The Crepes of Wrath" (7G13), 4/15/1990

They are laughing at me, not with me. -- "Krusty Gets Busted" (7G12), 4/29/1990

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom. -- "Some Enchanted Evening" (7G01), 5/13/1990

Gabriel Shear's Discourse

You know what the problem with Hollywood is? They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit. Now I'm not some grungy wannabe filmmaker that's searching for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke or something. No, it's easy to pick apart bad acting, short-sighted directing, and a purely moronic stringing together of words that many of the studios term as "prose". No, I'm talking about the lack of realism. Realism; not a pervasive element in today's modern American cinematic vision. Take Dog Day Afternoon, for example. Arguably Pacino's best work, short of Scarface and Godfather Part 1, of course. Masterpiece of directing, easily Lumet's best. The cinematography, the acting, the screenplay, all top-notch. But... they didn't push the envelope. Now what if in Dog Day, Sonny REALLY wanted to get away with it? What if - now here's the tricky part - what if he started killing hostages right away? No mercy, no quarter. "Meet our demands or the pretty blonde in the bellbottoms gets it the back of the head." Bam, splat! What, still no bus? Come on! How many innocent victims splattered across a window would it take to have the city reverse its policy on hostage situations? And this is 1976; there's no CNN, there's no CNBC, there's no internet! Now fast forward to today, present time, same situation. How quickly would the modern media make a frenzy over this? In a matter of hours, it'd be biggest story from Boston to Budapest! Ten hostages die, twenty, thirty; bam bam, right after another, all caught in high-def, computer-enhanced, color corrected. You can practically taste the brain matter. All for what? A bus, a plane? A couple of million dollars that's federally insured? I don't think so. Just a thought. I mean, it's not within the realm of conventional cinema... but what if?
-- Gabriel Shear, Operation: Swordfish (2001)

Lurleen Lumpkin Quotes: Your Wife Don't Understand You

Your wife don't understand you,
But I do.
No, your wife don't understand you,
But I do.
I said no one understands you,
But I do.
-- Lurleen Lumpkin, singing Your Wife Don't Understand You, "Colonel Homer" (8F19), The Simpsons (1992)

Party Posse Tunes 4: "Let's Re-Up Tonight"

Milhouse Van Houten: Had a girl in every port
From here to Barcelona.

Nelson Muntz: But now I'm docked in Springfield,
And, girl, I'm gonna phone ya.

Ralph Wiggum: Stormed a lot of beaches,
But you're the one that I missed.

Bart Simpson: Let's get back together, girl!
Let's re-enlist!

Party Posse: So sign me up for a hitch of love.
Recruit my heart.
Four sweet years of love...
Let's march all day
And clean latrines all night.
Don't bust me down.
Let's re-up tonight!
Let's re-up tonight!
-- Party Posse "Let's Re-Up Tonight", "New Kids on the Blecch" (CABF12), The Simpsons (2001)

Party Posse Tunes 3: "Drop Da Bomb"

Party Posse: Oh, say can you rock?

Milhouse Van Houten: There's trouble in a far-off nation.

Ralph Wiggum: Time to get in love formation.

Bart Simpson: Your love's more deadly than Saddam.

Nelson Muntz: That's why I've got to drop da bomb.
-- Party Posse "Drop Da Bomb", "New Kids On The Blecch" (CABF12), The Simpsons (2001)