EPIC Bart's Prank Call FAIL: Hugh Jass

Bart Simpson: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.

Moe Szyslak: Hold on, I'll check. (to the crowd) Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.

(Man appears)

Hugh Jass: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.

Moe Szyslak: Telephone. (hands phone to Hugh)

Hugh Jass: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.

Bart Simpson: Uh, hi.

Hugh Jass: Who's this?

Bart Simpson: Bart Simpson.

Hugh Jass: What can I do for you, Bart?

Bart Simpson: Uh, look, I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.

Hugh Jass: All right. Better luck next time.
-- "Flaming Moe's" (8F08), The Simpsons (1991)

Bart's Prank Call Fail: Ollie Tabooger

Homer Simpson: (answers phone) Yello?

Bart Simpson: Um yeah, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie.

Homer Simpson: Ooo Bart! My first prank phone call! What do I do?

Bart Simpson: Just as if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.

Homer Simpson: I don't get it.

Bart Simpson: Yell out, "I'll eat a booger."

Homer Simpson: What's the gag?

Bart Simpson: Oh, forget it! (hangs up phone)
-- "Homer the Moe" (CABF20), The Simpsons (2001)

A Christmas Letter from the Simpson Family

Dear Friends of the Simpsons Family,

We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First, the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we brought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever, Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's, and Bart, well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer Sends his love.

Happy Holidays,
The Simpsons
-- "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (7G08), The Simpsons (1989)

Simpsons Version of 12 Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Twelve Grampas grumbling,
Eleven Barneys belching,
Ten Lennys leaping,
Nine Carls dancing,
Eight Moes a-milking,
Seven Selmas smoking,
Six Flanders praying,

FIVE.....GOLDEN.....FRINKS!

Four crawling nerds,
Three-eyed fish,
Two special Ralphs,
And a Maggie in a Snuggley
-- "Pranks and Greens" (LABF18), The Simpsons (2009)