Mr. Burns' Warning to Homer Simpson Regarding Bobo

As you can see, Simpson, I've taken over all seventy-eight channels. And you won't see any of your favorite shows again until you give in... what's that you say? You can live without television as long as you have beer?... Wrong. All beer trucks heading towards Springfield have been diverted. This town will be dry as a bone. And if the rest of you beer-swilling tube jockeys out there have a problem with this, talk to Homer Simpson.
-- Mr Burns, on TV to Homer Simpson, "Rosebud" (1F01), The Simpsons (1993)

Ralph's Version of the Pledge of Allegiance

"I fudge a legions to the flack of the enlightened skates of a merry cup. And two derrick public, four witches dance, one Asian, underground, in the visible, with liver tea and just us for owl."
-- Ralph Wiggum, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, The Simpsons Library of Wisdom: The Ralph Wiggum Book, Matt Groening