Hello, people. It is I, Rumplestiltskin, shepard of your dreams. Recently a certain somebody has jeopardized our joyous lives. And that somebody is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek! That is why I come to you, dear citizens. For whomever brings me this ogre shall receive the deal of a lifetime. Just think of it! Total and complete happiness! Dazzling, radiant fulfullment! All your greatest wishes. Your wildest dreams. Anything you could ever want. No strings attached! But hurry, this is a limited time offer. So light your torches, sharpen your pitchforks and get your mob on!
-- Rumplestiltskin, Shrek Forever After (2010)
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