Lisa on Self Improvement

Self-improvement can be achieved, but not with a quick fix. It's a long, arduous journey of personal and spiritual discovery.
-- Lisa Simpson, "Bart's Inner Child" (1F05), The Simpsons (1993)

Homer on Stupid Risks

Stupid risks are what make life worth living. Now your mother, she's the steady type and that's fine in small doses, but me, I'm a risktaker. That's why I have so many adventures!
-- Homer Simpson, "Lost Our Lisa" (5F17), The Simpsons (1998)

Lisa's Opinion of the Cooders

I was wrong about the Cooders, Dad. They're the nicest of all the transients you've ever brought home.
-- Lisa Simpson, on the Cooders, "Bart Carny" (5F08), The Simpsons (1998)

Lisa's Letter From Kamp Krusty

Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear Hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty. Our nature hikes hve come grim death marches. Our arts and crafts center is, in acutuality, a Dickensian workhouse. Bart makes it through the days relying on his unwavering belief that Krusty the Clown will come through. But I am far more pessimistic. I am not sure if this letter will reach you as our lines of communication have been cut. Now, the effort of writing has made me lightheaded. So I close by saying, SAVE US! SAVE US NOW!
-- Lisa Simpson, "Kamp Krusty" (8F24), The Simpsons (1992)

A Christmas Letter from the Simpson Family

Dear Friends of the Simpsons Family,

We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First, the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we brought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever, Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's, and Bart, well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer Sends his love.

Happy Holidays,
The Simpsons
-- "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (7G08), The Simpsons (1989)

Homer's New Order of the Family

Hmm, I can see the house is falling apart without me, so here's the new order: Bart, you're the man of the house; Lisa, I'm promoting you to boy; Maggie's now the brainy girl; the toaster can fill in for Maggie; and Marge, you're a consultant.
-- Homer Simpson, through Ham Radio, "Missionary Impossible" (BABF11), The Simpsons (2000)